A Spiritual Experience in Recovery….
FAVOR SA Director Frank Rousseau shares his journey
 For nearly 35 years, my life was a laugh and just a "jol". Natural God-given talents, lots of luck in the business world, a wonderful family, and good friends to play golf with, was what life was all about! My 'joker' mask was always there for me, and naturally, drinking was part of this charade to hide my insecurities, shame and a feeling of not being good enough...
I was fully aware of the fact that alcoholism and asthma ran in our family. On both sides, as I was often reminded by my dad.
"I'm fine. I can handle my liquor!" was always my reply.
Until the awful day when this 'rapacious creditor' (alcohol), came in the form of my bank manager, and I realized that my business and my personal life had become unmanageable. It was payback time, and I needed help!
Humiliated by my personal powerlessness and lack of self-sufficiency, the fear of having to take personal responsibility for the mess in which I had landed my whole family, forced me to my knees to face my God and hand my whole life over to Him.
Yes, I did relapse after only a year of sobriety. I had returned to that feeling that I could overcome my imperfections by perceiving myself to be at the centre of life, and that all of life ought to be just the way I thought it should be. I could not believe that God could really love me, as imperfect as I was!
I had finally come to believe that I truthfully and honestly had to accept the 12 step Spiritual program, and work the program, if I wanted to stay sober.
"Let go, and let God."
Believe that God loves you, just as you are, created in His image.
We are justified not by our works, but by God's Grace. We will never measure up. To try to earn our salvation is to ask for failure - because if we live our lives trying to be perfect in all things, we end up feeling like failures in everything. If we believe we have to earn our worth through good deeds, our deeds will always be self-serving. The good news is that God has justified us by Grace - as a Gift.
We all live under some law, although we give it different names. The law is that which says, do this or that, and if we don't do it well, we punish ourselves by eating too much, drinking too much, spending too much. It reminds me of my rugby playing youth, when I was always running laps for the coach. If he said "jump", I would say "How high?"
Do I have any regrets in life? Yes, I regret the things I did not do! And, the precious time I wasted by not "Living life to the full without liquor - One day at a time."
Frank Rousseau
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